A quick updateTo my amazement, I'm still here, and have even caught up with myself to the extent that I've just started Numbers. Not really sure why I'm staying with this, as thus far nothing much is happening beyond my feeling vaguely guilty if I've not read the day's chunk by bedtime (and vague guilt for those things I ought to have done is so much an essential feature of life as Kathryn that this nothing new). Some things have made me really really angry...specifically the unequal strictures of the Law with regard to women...some things have made me sad...and some, to be honest, have left me cold.
Having had some thought provoking CME on Sunday, considering "Does God Suffer?" (which I've blogged here) I've been considering whether I have tended to disregard the awesome nature of God in favour of a God whom I have made so accessible that he has become domesticated, almost cosy, a God made in my image...
No such danger for the children of Israel. All those multitudinous rules that ensure that God is kept in his proper place are at one level a huge turn-off for me...I want to feel I can fling myself into my Father's arms and cry or rage when I need to. But I need to grasp, too, what it means to stand in any sort of relationship to the Creator, who is absolute unchanging Love. On a day when my own failings and inadequacies feel particularly pressing, that should be a "woe is me" experience...for the brighter the light, the more one recognises those parts which remain in darkness. Awe and a holy fear are the most proper response, and the role of those endless restrictions is to create the framework which has that awe built in to every approach to God, the I AM.
So, perhaps more is going on through this process than is evident above the surface.
I'm happy to sit with that, and see where I end up.