Sunday, January 15, 2006

Sigh

I'm struggling. Big time.

Didn't do yesterday's reading (the second part of leviticus). I was too busy updating the church website, and then suddenly it was past midnight. I thought, oh, well, I read the Saturday section in the morning and the Sunday section in the evening. But...

I'm all down. Just feel like escaping everything. Wondering what excuse to find to skip the church. I've read a few chapters of yesterday's reading, kinda scanning through them. One chapter, then quitting again. A bit later, another chapter.

I hate what I'm reading there, and I hate myself for hating it. I mean, "good girls" don't hate the Word of God - no matter what. Right?

Sigh.

-e-

4 Comments:

At 1/15/2006 8:31 AM, Anonymous Mary Beth said...

Dear Eija,

BLESS YOU for your honesty! I had no idea what was in this Book that I had never seen. Here's what I am holding on to:

God loves me where I am, no matter that I am bored, disgusted, angry, rolling my eyes, giggling over these first books of history.

I am wondering what sort of preparation this is for when we GALLOP through the Psalms 12 pages at a time, and SPEED through Romans and Corinthians! To say nothing of the Revelation (there's some more yucky stuff coming...)

Remember that this experience of reading the Bible in 90 Days will be part of each of us in the future - part of the foundation from which we approach more study of the Bible. I see it as a matter of exposure, and I bet there'll be a lot more that is incomprehensible as we go on, maybe with glimmerings of clearing here and there...

Wait! A metaphor for our lives in Christ!

HUGS across the world!

 
At 1/15/2006 12:16 PM, Blogger ukok said...

Struggling is okay.

We often believe that being christian, we shouldn't have so much of a battle on our hands when it comes to reading Scripture, but this is often not the case.

I appreciate how difficult this 90 day plan is, because I sometimes think that reading Scripture in such an intense manner is quite literally a test of faith!

(Do I trust in God to reveal Himself to me in Scripture, even when the words swim before my eyes and I forgot days ago who begat who begat who begat who...not that I ever really knew anyway!)

Don't be so hard on yourself.

The intent to do something like this is what matters most, perhaps now is not the best time for you to commit to a 90 day Bible reading plan, or perhaps you just need a couple of 'days off' to replenish your spiritual batteries. Either weay, have a big (((hug)))

God Bless.

 
At 1/15/2006 1:27 PM, Blogger ~Jennifer said...

I'm also struggling. I have missed my reading time the last couple of days and now feel really behind. I guess I'll pick it back up today, and not worry too much about catching up.

 
At 1/16/2006 2:59 AM, Anonymous eija said...

Thank you, guys... I really appreciate your support.

I did go to church, after all. And God had prepared someone, so I got the first greeting from Him already before the service even started - and there was more to come...

The sermon was about God's holiness (great stuff) - and the preacher read at least two parts of Leviticus!

I'm back in the schedule. Did the rest of the reading in the evening, after church.

-e-

ps. I think this 90 day trial is exactly what I need right now. Even if it's not easy, it gives me something "else" to think about, and I can literally feel that God is pleased for me to do it.

 

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